Consciously Cultivating Connected-Sex: Juicy Tips and Skills that Will Get You to the Top— Liquified silver
How exciting! We are getting to the top of the mountain. We’ve traveled across many shades of connection, and now we have the privilege of seeing the view stretching out before us. It also means that we are getting closer and closer to the mysteries of the heavens.
This shade of connection is co-creative sex with an extra torque. A skillful and masterful TORQUE! We have discarded the vagaries of “unconscious” sex and entered the skillful domain of striving for higher states through the portal of mindfulness, skill, and practice. Here below, you will be getting some pretty juicy pointers and tips, both for Him and for Her, that may make you reconsider how you practice sex altogether.
“George, dear, can we *pause* a sec’, got an itch!”
This shade of connection involves enhancing all areas of your sexual experience through genuine connection to self and to your partner. There are most certainly various practices that aim at achieving this, but since I took a three-month course with Devi Ward, international Tibetan Tantrika and leading-edge sex educator, I feel best equipped to share the qualities that I perceived throughout my experience with her.
The secret of Tibetan Tantra lies in your capacity to tap into a greater life force through a meditative practice and learn to amplify it. Once you’ve mastered this, you then proceed to incorporate it into your sexual practice. But be forewarned, this practice involves lots of healing. It’s a pro-active way of healing your sexual/spiritual energy. Through practices of meditation and self-knowledge, you learn the art of working and co-creating with them. Here is how you set the stage.
TIPS FOR HER:
In this shade of connection, the woman no longer defers her sexual experience to her partner and alternatively becomes an active agent in ensuring her satisfaction. The first requirement is that she be sufficiently connected to herself to actually know what she is experiencing. Since most people are living lives that involve a high level of stress and speed, the “Ocean Breath” is taught as a way of leaving behind all stresses of the day and consciously tuning into herself and her body. The best place to do this exercise is in the bathtub as she gets the added soothing effect of her body pulsating with her breath in warm water.
She puts her hand on her heart and on her yoni, the Sanskrit word for vagina, while she inhales and exhales into deep breathing exercises. This exercise has a direct impact on the nervous system as it soothes and releases all stressors. It allows her to feel what is there and take stock of her current situation. It helps her to connect to her heart. This allows her to become aware of herself, her feelings and to let go of anything that might be blocking her experience of pleasure. In contrast with earlier shades of connection, we can safely say that this self-connection is millenniums away from the disconnect that occurs in rape or variants of disempowered money-mediated sex.
The next step in this technique is that the woman is taught about self-pleasure. This way she learns about her own anatomy, what she likes, where her pleasure centers are and she learns to finds them. She explores the various erogenous zones of her body, which include 12 centers of highly sensitive tissue that can trigger orgasms. She can find her G-spot, A-spot, P-spot, U-spot, amongst others, and how to stimulate them to bring her pleasure — using pressure, rubbing, intensity, speed. I will make a list down below of the various centers of joy to help map it out for you.
This knowledge is essential for her sense of empowerment. When she knows how her body works, she is better equipped to express this to her partner, who then has a better chance at giving her pleasure. Devi always stresses this point in her teachings: You can’t expect another person to know innately how to bring you pleasure. You have to learn to communicate it and guide the other person in the most empowering way. This very skillful communication increases the chances of reaching the states you are aiming for.
TIPS FOR HIM:
The man that has adopted the practices of Tibetan Tantra knows that his practice depends on connecting his penis to his heart. Exercises that involve breath, heart, and massage help him do this. He also seeks as a premise to bring pleasure to his partner, whether it be a man or a woman. In the case of a female partner, he is also interested in knowing how her body works, what brings her pleasure by communicating and listening to her needs, in a safe and respectful space. He has discovered the art of the Yoni Massage! He also has figured out where her pleasure centers reside.
Furthermore, he knows his semen is a potent solution of his own life forces. Every time he ejaculates, he releases out into the world a portion of his life forces, which we all know has the amazing capacity to create new life if it falls on fertile ground. But, conversely, he also knows that frequent ejaculations deplete his life forces, which can retrograde him on the spectrum as he becomes increasingly depleted, instead of increasingly energized and vitalized. To counter this, he has developed a practice of semen retention, which means learning to orgasm without ejaculating. He knows that this practice allows him to become multi-orgasmic, not a bad reward for all his efforts! This involves finding what the Chinese call the “million dollar point.” This way he doesn’t leak out his precious energy forces every time he experiences pleasure. It also means that he can sustain sexual activity and pleasure over a longer period of time.
By achieving this, he can offer a much more satisfying experience to his partner. If she is a woman, she needs on average more time to warm up to reach higher forms of pleasure. If he can last longer, it also allows her to fully achieve her full pleasure potential as she is, in fact, naturally multi-orgasmic. This means she can peak multiple times in short lapses of time without any need to regenerate. By lengthening intercourse time, she can peak many times! How fun for her! With the practice of semen retention, both partners can garner the benefits of multiple orgasms. This translate to longer periods of mutual joy, which is, of course, deeply bonding. Semen retention also avoids the disappointment that comes with premature ejaculation, which involves potentially losing his sexual drive before the woman actually warms up. It goes pretty much without saying: the practice of mutual satisfaction deepens feelings of connection and union. Shall I remind you where we started on this spectrum? Eons and galaxies away from here. Just saying!
The core of the Tibetan Tantra approach involves a very specific meditative practice that enhances one’s capacity to circulate energy throughout the body. This enriches what the Taoists call “chi”, the vital forces. Tibetan Tantra focuses on learning to circulate energy in 5 major energy centers of the body, the chakras. The more one enriches the energy through meditative practice, the more one has access to a powerful energy flow during sex. It is not surprising that this heightens the power of sex. It is the difference between a depleted battery and a fully energized Energizer Bunny plugged into the Universe! The meditative practice heightens the energy currents by tapping into a larger pool of energy available to us. You then learn to circulate these currents throughout the body and in a circular way with your partner.
With all this preparation, the partners are well-equipped to achieve higher forms of connection. In the Tibetan Tantra approach, the two partners are encouraged to consciously connect to each other before engaging in sex. They are invited to embrace and put a hand on their partner’s heart. A series of breathing exercises allow the two partners to fully synchronize with each other. They deeply look into each other eyes.
In this form of sex, you have two people really consciously wanting to connect at different levels through touch, breath, gaze. They want to acknowledge the unique person in their arms and want to take the necessary time to consciously do this. They want to let them into their heart, feel their essence. When someone doesn’t want to make eye contact during sex, doesn’t that feel a little odd? And yet, it happens! It is as if they don’t want to connect heart to heart. Here, they choose to be fully receptive to all that brings them pleasure. Isn’t that exciting?! Who doesn’t want to deeply be acknowledged, be perceived and be cared for? These qualities certainly meet universal human needs.
THE HEALING PROPERTIES:
As people apply these practices and increase the energy of their chi, or energy flow, they have to also know, as mentioned earlier, that this energy is very powerful. This means the more powerful the current, the more healing it will wield.
Conversely, it also means that the more you heal and dissolve your energy blocks, the more you have access to a heightened current streaming through your body. It clears the way to experiencing blissful states of pleasure.
This is when penis and vagina actually become powerful healing tools. The penis referred to as “lingam” in Sanskrit — now fully connected to the heart — becomes the all powerful “jade stick,” a truly amazing healing wand. The vagina, known as the yoni, becomes “the sacred space,” a powerful energy center instantly felt by those who enter.
These forces equally play out in non-heterosexual relationships, it’s just about the energy circulating through the bodies. As we cross the spectrum, we see that the “dick” shifts from being a weapon of domination and destruction to a healing magic wand. The “pussy” grows into a powerful tiger that will roar and purr soothing healing forces, assuring growth to all who enter her den. These powerful tools help liberate you from all your blocks and bring you closer to your fullest actualization.
As Baljit Rayat so wisely said: “With sex, all illusions fall.”
Are you ready to let your illusions dissolve into liquid silver?
JOIN ME FOR THE ART OF CO-CREATIVE SEX — THE ONLINE COURSE. JUNE 2017.
Here are 7 THINGS this course will do for you:
1. It will help you see the relationship between sexual, spiritual and creative energy and help you see where you are blocked.
2. It will allow you to see the direct link between your sexual energy and your personal/spiritual development and why you need to pay attention to sexual energy.
3. It will shed light on why issues come up in relationships and help you release the toxic from them.
4. In the sacred space of the Akashic Records, you can get an extra booster to release your blocks from 5 of your lower chakras: root, sacral, solar plexus, heart, and throat. (Well, I couldn’t leave out the throat. Voice is so important!!!)
5. It will heal and calibrate your sexual energy.
6. It will empower you to own yourself fully and claim the life and relationships you deserve.
7. It will awaken your gifts.
If this resonates, don’t miss out. Everyone walking this planet would benefit from healing their sexual energy. I say this quite confidently. It’s the doorway to your actualization.
ONLINE COURSE: JUNE 2017. So get cracking! Sign up.
love Julie xxx
For more info, click on the image below.
“Open to me, so that I may open.
Provide me your inspiration
So that I might see mine.”
(SUNBURST OWL, Kenojuak Ashevak, Stonecut & Stencil, 2002 superimposed with Snakeskinned Tiger Woman, Julie Archambault, 2016)
FIFTY SHADES OF CONNECTION —THE BIG MARKERS ON THE SPECTRUM:
14. The ultimate marriage of eros, love, and sexuality — Blooming silver stardust
Zeeee ULTIMATE shade of Connection…. : )