sex

EVERY 3rd THURSDAY OF THE MONTH, A NEW PIECE OF THE PUZZLE IS REVEALED IN… FIFTY SHADES OF CONNECTION! 

Decolonize Sex: Free Yourself of Mental Slavery!  — Coal soot

As I was saying earlier, sex is an energetic exchange involving the very essence of who we are. That is why it is such an intimate transaction, so to speak, we are sharing the very energy, the very juice of our essence. In this essence, all that we are is there, all that we carry, all our wounds and transgressions, all our light and power, the very blueprint of our self-worth and self-love reside smack there. All is imprinted into this juicy life energy, that flows so freely between us and our partner while having sex. This energy also bears the mark of all the baggage we received from our families growing up, from our ancestral lines, from our culture, from other cultures — even past lives, if you are willing to go there. Guilt, shame revel in there. Even fester. This is why decolonizing sex is such an important step to up-levelling the frequency of sex and sexual connection in the world.

scan-7

To better understand certain dynamics playing out in the world around sex, one has to understand the basic organizing principles of colonial history, which includes practices of imperialism, cultural genocide, slavery and military interventions in the distant and not so distant past. The principle organizes the world in ways that create important inequalities around resources, economic means, and power. Colonial history is about asserting power over a people, their land, to exploit them for economic gain, while eroding the vitality of their culture. This dominating power often comes with “benefits”, i.e. sexual services of all shades. If you look deeper into the impacts of colonial practices, you will notice it has actually shaped the world’s power dynamics as we know them today. It has divided the world into dualities such as the “First World” and the “Third World”, the “Civilized World” and the “Un-civilized World”, the “Rich” and the “Poor” countries, the “Upper class” and the “Lower class”, the “Elite” and the “Ghetto”. If you scratch the surface of any unequal social or cultural construct in the world, you will most likely find the root cause is often linked to some form of colonialism and its ramifications. 

Now, let’s add sex to this equation. What happens to sex in places where poverty is a by-product of colonial practices? What happens to the women? To the girls? To the boys? To the Gays or Transgendered folk? How does sexual tourism align itself along these lines? When people have been deemed “less valuable” through long-standing exploitative behaviors, whether it be slavery, cultural genocide or military “bullying”, sex follows suit and abuses of all grades start showing up. Whenever a culture has been made to feel “less” in any way, this “less” definitely shows up in sexual exchanges, whether it be via internalizing the beliefs or via the false pretense of entitlement.   

In fact, some groups get specifically targeted for various forms of sexual violence, murders, abuse and degrading behavior because they, as a group, are deemed “vulnerable”. And people get away with it. Somehow these “people” are believed to be “less valuable”. This has become particularly apparent in the Missing Aboriginal Women crisis in Canada. The heritage of colonial practices, imperialism, slavery, segregation leave deep clefts in the world and show up in various forms of exploitative sexual encounters, including “disempowered” prostitution, human trafficking, which can appallingly even involve the police force! It can also mean sending priests and nuns to communities when in fact they are pedophiles and sexual predators hiding behind their positions of authority, approved and protected by the church. These types of sexual transgressions enabled by colonial practices leave huge imprints on the sexual health of whole communities for generations if not dealt with.

But, it also can show up in more subtle ones such as dating patterns. People can be made to feel like they are worth less if they are of this or that race. People may be rejected from coupling based on the color of their skin, culture or religion — and yes, this still happens today. It could be OK and desired to “fuck” them, but not to date or marry them “officially.” Or conversely, some cultures are sought out specifically to “find a demure wife” because women and families are willing to sell themselves short to escape poverty.

But, it also can show up in more subtle ones such as dating patterns. People can be made to feel like they are worth less if they are of this or that race. People may be rejected from coupling based on the color of their skin, culture or religion — and yes, this still happens today. It could be OK and desired to “fuck” them, but not to date or marry them “officially.” Or conversely, some cultures are sought out specifically to “find a demure wife” because women and families are willing to sell themselves short to escape poverty.

People have shared with me all kinds of racist attitudes that inform sexual behaviors, comments such as: “I could use a little ethnic take-out,” “I can’t go out with you because of your skin color.” “Is she your weekend girlfriend? Keep on enjoying the Bangkok life, dude!” and “I thought we killed all of you!” These are all very contemporary quotes. Shocking, no?!

People will travel the world because they feel they can get away with certain sexual behaviors that would not be acceptable back in their home country. Often times, there are vast financial inequalities wedged into these dynamics. They travel to certain destinations because women are viewed as “easy,” “submissive,” having “tight pussies,” “less valuable,” “promiscuous” or “less protected” by their culture and legal structures.This plays out for all genders, of course. I’ve heard people gloat that “if you go there, you can get whatever you ask for, no questions asked.” This exploits their position of “entitlement” by degrading and dehumanizing other people based on their race, culture, gender, vulnerability and economic positioning in the world for the exclusive sake of personal gratification. Obviously, this inflicts another layer of harm, disempowerment and, simply put, disconnection in sex. How can sex be truly good if you are taking advantage of someone? If you are banking on their weakness or their economic injustices? Or conversely, how can you enjoy sex if you feel less worthy or disempowered than your partner? If you think, I am treated like crap in this relationship, but it’s better than nothing… Think again. What are you actually worth? 

scan-5

The good news is that we can free ourselves of such nasty energies. Who wants to go around carrying shame for the color of one’s skin even for another year? Feel eternally disempowered because of colonial history? Play out one’s damaged self-worth in sexual encounters? Be treated like crap for no apparent reason? Let an entitled person dictate your worth? Who wants to live their life angry all the time? Well, you can if you want to, of course. But, wouldn’t you prefer not to? There are much better things to do.

Up-levelling your sense of self-worth and the quality of sex means releasing all those damaging belief systems. They are lies anyways that were extolled by the colonials, the church, and other power mongers of all shapes and forms trying to snatch power from you and down your family line, which actually hides how little they must be feeling in their own pants. When you need to degrade someone else’s power to feel stronger that does say a lot about your own insecurities.

The path to relief is finding where the core of our self-worth issues lie, where did we start believing that our culture, ethnicity or race was worth any less? Who made you feel that way? How did you over-compensate for this misguided belief? How did you take that belief on? This also includes shifting out of a scarcity mindset. “I can only get this, so…” “This is my only chance at improving my economic situation so…”, “Who else is going to want me…” “This is my only chance…”, “This is all I can do to survive…”, “I’ve always been treated this way so…”, “All — beeps —  are the same.” Becoming fully conscious of these dynamics and naming them is half the battle. The next step is, if you are willing and able, to release these beliefs from your DNA.

We are meant to walk on this planet as fully empowered beings. Our worth does, in fact, come from the inside, not from the outside even if we can get distracted in believing otherwise. If you are ready to take the leap, I say, no more carrying crap around that doesn’t belong to you. Time for your empowered self to show up and enjoy good wholesome sex from that empowered rock star place, and feel the greatness of who you are.

This is the very process of decolonizing sex: freeing oneself of all those lies slowly chipping away at your self-worth. Decolonizing sex is a very sacred process that starts with ourselves… and it keeps on going and going and going, way beyond ethnicity and race, until we are a full-fledged FREE human being with our sexual/spiritual energy moving in alignment with the full integrity of our MIND, BODY, SOUL and SPIRIT. It’s a truly profound experience.

When you decolonize sex, you decolonize your soul. Bob had it right: “Free yourself of mental slavery!” So, happy inner revolution!

Love Julie xxx

FullSizeRender (1).jpg

Julie is a multi-dimensional healer in the Akashic Records. She creates a sacred vessel for deep, powerful healing of both conscious and unconscious wounds collected from one’s personal biography or inherited down from one’s ancestral line, cultural landscape and beyond. She will guide you through the very steps of becoming the freest most wholesome version of yourself. Working with her is like… Decolonization on FIRE! For more information, go to glowingsnake.com. 

2017 : GROW INTO THE POWER HOUSE YOU REALLY ARE.

img_4115

5 1:1 individual sessions in your Akashic Records that will allow you to grow into the fullest expression of your gifts and power. Did you know that part of you is hiding? Time to let it all out so that you can enjoy the full range of your spectrum. See results at work, love life and personal satisfaction.Click here for more details.  JANUARY SPECIAL!

EVERY 3rd THURSDAY OF THE MONTH, A NEW PIECE OF THE PUZZLE IS REVEALED IN… FIFTY SHADES OF CONNECTION. 

NEXT MONTH: “CLEAR CONTRACTS”…

THE BIG MARKERS ON THE SPECTRUM: 

1. Sexual assault: the antithesis of connection — Coal gray

2. Victimized  vs. empowered money-mediated sex— Paynes gray

3. Sex under the influence: deferring your power — Smog gray

4. Personal development meets porn-literate: the realities under the non-realities — Gunmetal gray

5. Sexual Vampirism: Eating the Shadow in Sex — Campfire smoke

6. Decolonizing Sex: Free Yourself of Mental Slavery — Coal soot

7. Clear Contracts:  from Genital Rubbing to Depth — Nimbus cloud gray

8. “Genital Rubbing”— Stainless steel

9. Light and Playful Sex — Billowing cumulus

10. Hello Heart — Silver lining

11. The Groundwork for Co-creative Sex — mining silver

12. Showing up for Co-creative Sex — Pure Silver

13. Consciously Cultivating Connected-sex — Liquified silver

14. The Ultimate Marriage of Eros, Love, and Sexuality — Blooming silver stardust

3 thoughts on “Decolonize Sex

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s